… on the Asian continent.

Being 45 years old I’m pretty aware of having waited way too long for this experience. On the other hand better late than never.

Having been in culture shock before I expected it to happen after my 12 hours flight into Bangkok. Instead I was just overwhelmed starting with the architecture of Bangkok Airport, the smiling of everyone, not being able to understand Thai English at all and the amazing overwhelming skyline of this city to start with only a few impressions.

I landed directly in the ‘honeymoon’ phase.

Thai massage, excellent food, affordable luxurious hotel suite (f.t.), humid tropical climate (f.t.), being in city with 12 million inhabitants (f.t.), using taxis driven on the left side (f.t.) – I was amazed over and over again!

Most amazing though was the contradictions of wealth and poverty combined with a constant smile and kindness people were offering me.

After four days I continued my travel to the 3rd biggest island Samui and again I was feeling like in honeymoon. The rich and outstanding nature including fauna, sea, tide and float. The most striking were the people who seem to open their hearts and smile no matter how challenging their lives are that very moment.

To better understand the kindness of these people I can tell you that any animal is it a wild dog, a little saurian or a bird or a water buffalo is neither afraid of  human being nor of a car or motor bike. How comes? Locals respect any living being is it a plant, animal or human being not matter from which country or religion. Everyone gets a wai – the local greeting and respect gesture.

I have seen many people begging for money in the streets. In this place of the world even the beggars of the streets would smile in such a heart warming way that I couldn’t wait to see him each evening going to town. Not so much to share some coins but much more to again see and feel his bright smile.  Who is the begger in this case, I wonder?

Being back in Europe I’m freezing, not because of the 30° Celsius difference but because I miss these heart warming people. And yes as cultural trainer I’m not save of cultural shock, unfortunately. Plus the reader may observe that the culture shock works both sides, going abroad or coming home. Couple of days upon my return while watching the kindness boomerang film I had an insight which got me back on track:

It’s up to me to open my heart – after been taught so generously – and share these heart warming smiles with the people around me. Instead of missing it, I now feel blessed to have been taught how to do it myself.  Big bow to the one leg beggar in L on Koh Samui who  made my first Asia travel so unforgettable special. Deep bow and wai.

Kindness Boomerang Film(5 minutes, English)                    http://youtu.be/nwAYpLVyeFU

f.t. ~ first time

Regina Reinhardt

cross cultural trainer & coach

www.ReginaReinhardt.com

www.icdc.ch

When working in Greece I feel that I’m way too independent, my behaviour not as collectivistic as the locals and same time in Switzerland I’m way too much collectivistic not individualistic enough. Seems I’m making efforts in balancing the national host culture if it comes to these aspects. 

It is a skill to be able applying both cultures, no questions. If I look at it as a medal, the backside of this coin is that I miss the ‘belonging’ feeling. Plus being a person who strives for harmony and consensus it constantly makes me feel at unease. 
In business I also see this conflict eg when I work in the hospital with latin cultures. They have developed strong collectivistic skills – eg a 24 hours survivance next to their relative’s bed – which secure survivance back home in hospitals. Now in Switzerland relatives are strongly asked to not stay long hours with their relatives to make sure patience have enough time to relax, recover, sleep and profit from therapy.

Is there a solution? I don’t know. Guess it starts with accepting both behaviours as the right ones. Guess it’s great to be able applying both styles depending on where one is. Guess the backside of this skill is no feeling of ‘belonging’. 

Guess the constant thrive of balancing both skills keeps global players like me alive!?! 

Thank you Hanaa for inspiring me to see myself clearer

Film tip ‘My big fat Greek weedding’ 

www.reginareinhardt.com
www.ICDC.ch

In literature commonly known as culture shock I prefer the expression cultural stress.

I keep meeting clients who experience it, some more than others. Let me share with you two true stories from clients giving me permission to share their experience hoping to support and encourage other people out there dealing with cultural stress.

A senior marketing manager in his thirties based in a Latin culture with all pluses going along with it such as big house, high income, social status, highly positioned in his organization – in other words well positioned in his comfort zone. He is offered a two year relocation to company’s headquarter in Switzerland. This is a great training opportunity, no question so he accepts. Still he has to give up not only his social status, his position, leave back friends and family but also needs to learn from scratch how to handle daily life: house hunting, shopping, laundry, cleaning. On top he is positioned in a completely new department of his company where he has to learn everything from scratch. When we meet he is complaining – a typically behavior for people suffering from cultural stress – and he can’t seem to find an end. Now please put yourself in his shoes. In other words this man has been thrown out of nest, both from a business and private perspective. After acknowledging his special efforts, his courage this manager has put himself into, he is slowly melting down and out of his own initiative even focusing on positive aspects of his relocation. Respect!

A senior finance manager in her forties based and grown in Mexico being offered by her company an appealing position in New York. Without hesitation she accepts, packs her belongings and relocates to New York. Working and living in the 24 hour city was anything but what she expected. Working days with 10 to 12 hour days from day one. Overtime a must. Lunch to be eaten at her desk. Same procedure from Mondays to Fridays with no time to take a breath. On weekends she manages her personal affairs such as shopping, cleaning, laundry etc. Being dead tiered – a typical cultural stress symptom amongst others – instead of enjoying leisure time or making friends does nothing but sleeping, sleeping, sleeping…. and no talking to anyone. Her family and friends back home wouldn’t understand anyway. They felt she was nothing but happy given this career chance in the country of endless opportunities.

As a result of unhealthy diet, no social contacts, endless stress, no energy and free time to herself she becomes depressive and the vicious circle takes its turns. When seeking help from a psychiatrist she is told just to give in, accept.
As a result, take a guess, she feels better?
Put yourself in her shoes, even if you are inside your comfort zone, doesn’t it feel horrible? At least my tears, when sitting opposite my lady client – who by the way now came to her dream country Switzerland after three whole years of New York nightmare as she would call it – listening to her storry, are running down my cheeks. I couldn’t help feeling her culture stress in my own body.

Her learning lesson? Taking a culture training or coaching for specific preparation and support before or after relocation. ‘It is so very important for a successful relocation’ she says and smiles. So very happy to finally see the shining in her eyes.

My summary
These two people as many others have had the courage to position themselves completely out of her comfort zone. Imagine for a moment…
How does it feel to give up cosy home in return to not knowing how the expatriation will turn out?
How many people do you know who have taken a likewise risk? have you ever asked them how it felt for them?
How does it feel to be completely on your own – no friends, family, social network?
Again these people have my full respect for their risk taking. I’ll do my very best to support their assimilation process and support them dealing with their own individual culture stress and shock symptoms. My dearest wish one day them bing able to recognize and appreciate the precious sides of their new host country.

Thank you Kamila and Bugra for your trust. Wishing you both these experiences to lead you to precious insights and happiness.

Film tip: Lost in translation

www.ReginaReinhardt.com
www.ICDC.ch

I’m homesick…

It happens every time when I go home. Being Swiss and German by nationality you expect me to be missing one of the two countries? Guess what? Funny enough I do feel homesick towards the culture and country where I grew as a second generation kid – in my case Greece. 

There is no logic behind it. I’m not Greek by nationality, my working mentality is very much German-Swiss. My son whom I adore more than anything lives with me in Switzerland where he goes to school. Back there I have build successfully my cross cultural trainer/coach consultancy. Finally my partner in life whom I love dearly has his career in Switzerland as well. Last but not least my dear friends are in Switzerland.

Still I do feel homesick on a regular base… What is it that makes me crying each single time when leaving the country, now over 25years after living and growing in Athens where I graduated German College?

Greek culture is so very different, so opposite than the mine. Creative, pationate, dramatic, spontanious, short term oriented, emotional, sunny, loud, talkative, extrem, hyracical, last minute oriented, public, responsability avoiding, spoiled, strikes, bribering… to mention only some.

Again why then am I homesick? 

I do like the country I’m living at. Switzerland. The nature, the cleanness, slow pace, unemotional, economically stable, well organised, great public transportation, easy selfemployment, egalitarian, direct democracy, privacy, reliable, efficency, flat hyrachie, lack of VIP culture, multi-lingual, located in the center of Europe, great travel opportunities, attractive for global company head quaters…

Then why am I homesick?

When I come to Greece, I always need a couple of days to adjust to temperature, pace, daily rythm being constantly on the phone talking to people – all of it so very different than back in Switzerland. And to be honest some of it very very energy consuming since nothing I do by nature. And I do not have a house/appartment to stay…

But then why homesick?

Because
… it forces me to do everything differently?
… it makes me reflect my behaviour?
… it proves me wrong that Switzerland has the only way how to do things the right way?
… it reminds me of good old childhood times?
… I’m a second generation kid?
… homesickness is nothing one can explain with words or logic?
… it is where my heart feels home?
… I can just be myself?!

‘Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to’ ~ John Ed Pearce, engineer and author.

Regina Reinhardt
www.ReginaReinhardt.com
www.icdc.ch

2011, August

One day I was talking to my client Maria in the hospital I’m working as an interpreter and cross cultural consultant. She was revealing some problems with the nurse. “It’s terrible”, Maria confesses, “she for over four days just wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I just don’t understand why she is doing that, there is absolutely no reason at all for such a behaviour” Maria continues.

Knowing the personnel quite a while I was wondering about such behaviour as well. “What happened?” I asked her.

“Well”, Maria reveals “here is what happened. I was watching the nurse trying to calm a crying baby which just couldn’t find it’s sleep. I had an idea how to calm that baby and wanting to support her I spontanously shared it with her. She didn’t seem to understand. Contrary she stared to be annoyed by me. I then used some gestures to make myself better understood. Tipping my temple I indicated her ‘think about it’ and walked away.

Since then she not only does not talk to me but not even look at me. I feel she is completly over reacting, I only wanted to be of help”, finalizes Maria who obviously felt missunderstood and offended at the same time.

I thought for a moment. Taking into consideration
1st Maria and the nurse have no common language to talk to each other
2nd their both immense cultural differences: Maria originated from Greece, the nurse from Switzerland,
I turned to Maria and said. “Tipping your temple in Swiss culture is naturally being interpreted as ‘you are crazy’”. Whereas in Greece the gesture is commonly used to make others reflect about the topic of conversation.

“See why the nurse wouldn’t talk to you anymore?” Maria looked at me with wide open eyes, completely shocked. Some moments of reflections later she turned around with a big embarrassed smile. We both couldn’t but laugh for what seemed ages…

Thank you Maria for this lovely learning lesson Bow. Ευχαριστώ πολύ.

Regina Reinhardt
www.ReginaReinhardt.com
www.icdc.ch

15.05.2011

One day while talking about our national school system in Switzerland we were exchanging information about our suns with my Korean lady client. Naturally I asked her ‘How old is your sun?’ A question I thought would be covered in less than 2 seconds.

I was taken by surprise when she did not answer at all, obviously counting, reflecting and after what seemed to me a long while, answered very vague ‘I guess he is somewhere between 5 and 6′ I need to add that my client is a highly educated and positioned global manager with a top career in a multinational organisation.

Being a cross cultural trainer with more than 10 years of coaching experience I’m used to many situations. Still here I got caught. By the way this is why I do love my occupation so very much. Because I keep learning every single day with every single client…

Back to my Korean lady client. I must have looked very puzzled because she then continued: ‘You see in Korea we count differently. The age of a child is being counted from the moment of existence in the belly of the mother. Then when it’s born we give him the age of one. Once the calendar year in January starts all over the age of this child turns to two. As example a baby born on November 2005 is turning two in January 2006′

Amazing! No wonder my Korean client lady answered my question only within five seconds. Being in Korea asked the age of my sun I’m positive it will take me instead of two seconds two hours to calculate and get back…

Thank you for this lovely learning experience, bow 고마워

Regina Reinhardt
www.ReginaReinhardt.com
www.icdc.ch

2011.05.08